OH Hell, NO!

Happy 21st birthday Nate!!  Your Dad and I will be celebrating 29 years of marriage later this month.  It stands to reason that we did lots of things before you joined us.  We traveled, studied, practiced “being married”, ministered at church and were personally and professionally very successful.  Yet I have a deep and abiding sense that all of that was preparation for and in anticipation of…you. I have lots of fuzzy memories of the time before Nate-  after you arrived it all became crystal clear.

We hoped, prayed and waited for you. We waited and waited.  Getting proficient in “natural family planning” was part of that process.  Consulting with nuns and nurses,  reading books and phoning doctors, taking temperatures, counting days and making charts were the regimen.  This was in the midst of our preparation to serve as missionaries in Siberia.  We knew God wanted us to live in Irkutsk, Siberia. Russian language had to be acquired and financial and prayer support needed to be raised.

Our specialist came back to us 3 months before we were to get on the plane for Russia.  “I’m sorry,” he said, “The fertility medicine you have been taking is just not working.  You have to stop taking it now because I can’t monitor you overseas.  There is nothing more I can do for you.”  That was the end.  I was so sure we would have kids.  I was crushed.  I wrote a letter to the 12 faithful women who agreed to pray for me and gave the news.  We were studying Russian in an intensive program in Columbia, South Carolina, and I posted my letter from there.

By the time those ladies got the letter in Wisconsin, we had gotten the news that I was expecting you.  God heard our prayers and moved.  “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12.  We spent 5 months in Irkutsk on that first trip before returning to the States to deliver you.

We couldn’t know that your eyes would be blue, that your hair would be curley and that you would charm everyone you met.  We did know that you made us parents, were an amazing ambassador for Christ and opened many Russian hearts in your very first year.  We only had 361 days together before we brought home your new brother on your first birthday.  You appeared to be (and still are) overjoyed at the prospect of being a big brother.  Nothing is sweeter than hearing you brag about your brother, your love and admiration for him obvious in every word.

Teething on pickles at your Baba Ada’s dacha, speaking an amazing concoction of Russian and English and dancing to Russian disco music were a few of your early exploits.  Now an aspiring fiction writer, poet and history buff your intellect and passion take my breath.  Acting, writing and directing came very naturally to you, and your penchant for drama has added a dimension to our lives we could never have imagined.

Watching you mature these last several years has been a treat.  You are an overcomer.  Facing adversity, learning from failure and pursuing truth are your MO.  Mostly an extrovert, listening to you unpack the psychology of military strategy is an unparalleled  adventure not for the faint of heart. It is exciting to hear and see your faith become your own.  We waited and waited for you, we hoped and prayed- “a longing fulfilled is the tree of life”-Nate you are our longing fulfilled.  Happy Birthday to the man who made me a mom.

Twenty years ago today my life took a drastic turn.  You arrived with great fanfare and your own entourage.  Not that you were unexpected, or unwanted no the very opposite.  We were eagerly anticipating your appearance no one more than your dad and your bigger brother.  We just didn’t expect the excitement.

Blue and floppy are descriptive words. When applied to a newborn they are terrifying and forbidding words.  From your first entrance nothing has been regular or ordinary about you.  Since your arm and shoulder tore through a weak C-section scar left over from your 361 day older brother-a routine delivery became an operating room circus.  It wasn’t good luck that had the instructor for neonatal resuscitation in the room that night. The group of specialists and experts on scene worked to ensure your future, and mine.  I know that there was a divine coordinator for all their heroic efforts.

An exhausted group of physicians paraded through our hospital room the next morning, astonished at how robust you were after starting your life with no respiration, no reflexes, the wrong color (blue)and a slow weak pulse.  I think that first APGAR test was the only one you have ever failed and you couldn’t study for it.

You were named for your grandpa John Karcher.  He is deeply devoted to God and has a loving servant heart.  We hoped you, Karcher John, would grow to have your own devotion and servant spirit.  We saw the inkling of that at home in Siberia.  From our earliest memories you have been a great listener and quick learner.  You mastered English and Russian and were correcting me with my word choice and pronunciation at the age of 4.  Living cross culturally in Siberia until the age of 5 you were known for your grin, affection for “George” the cat and open friendly personality.

Part of making your decision to follow Christ included the question, “Hey Dad- what is the food like in Hell?”  When dad speculated about the things to eat in Hell you quickly asked if it was,’too late to decide now” and quickly secured your place in heaven (where the good food is).  You were 7.

Martial arts, French, horse back riding, Japanese, playing the guitar and cooking are just some of your renaissance hobbies.  Engaging in epic Dungeons and Dragons games spanning over days and weeks boggle my mind. This is just the tip of the iceberg that is Karcher.

Decisive, intuitive, thoughtful and  flexible are a few of the words that describe you at 20.  A brilliant and dedicated student with a dry sense of humor,a loyal friend, and an engaged and loving younger and older brother you have so many exciting opportunities on the horizon.  The humbling thing for me as your mom is that I may have guided and encouraged at different times, but you are so different from me, so much more in so many ways – all the credit  (glory) for you goes  to God.

Today your Dad and I celebrate the gift of Karcher.  From your unforgettable entrance, to the young boy who loved justice, through the young man who challenged himself and us, every day has been a gift.  We will always have your back and support you in your adventures and dreams.  Extraordinary every step of the way.  Watching you being Karch is one of our wildest dreams come true.  Happy Birthday .

I have been chasing my mail lady for months.  If I don’t get my card out to the mailbox on time I bolt for the car.  I have tracked her down all over the neighborhood.  It was vitally important that a note gets into the mail everyday.

Last April my friend CJ was diagnosed with cancer.  A stomach complaint morphed into stage 4 pancreatic cancer.  Almost a year ago she began to live with a Big Ben sized clock ticking in her mind.  That clock wasn’t just limited to her mind- it was in my heart too.

Compelled to DO something, yet without an advanced degree in medicine or anything remotely helpful, I was at a loss.  So I trusted my connection with the  “GREAT” physician and began to pray and jot notes of encouragement to CJ.

CJ is beloved by  many people.  In her stadium full of friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances I would be up really high in the nosebleed section.  Up where it is often necessary to use binoculars to see what is transpiring on stage. So many people are so much closer to the action.

As she went about the work of treatment, healing and reflection – I was praying and writing cards and chasing my mail lady, asking for prayer from everyone I knew.

As medicine was pumped in, prayers went up and hope endured.  The mail lady and I developed a friendship. When the doctor came back with unexplainable results, praise was lifted and anticipation shifted- there were more treatment options than originally thought.

When God healed my friend CJ from stage 4 pancreatic cancer- and she was declared cancer free on December 15, 2016 the saints rejoiced, the physicians marveled and the mail lady believed.

Maybe God healed CJ so that the mail lady would gasp in wonder, breakout in goosebumps and believe in miracles.  Maybe it was for my dad, widower to colon cancer, veteran caregiver and survivor of loss.  Maybe she was healed for her darling devoted husband, her grand babies and loving family, so their tapestry of faith and love can continue to decorate the lives of so many.  It may very well have delighted Him to heal her, that was reason itself.

I won’t know exactly why or even how God healed CJ.  It is hard not to marvel at how His extreme care and healing provision have touched so many .  The sweaty girls I lift weights with at the gym, the ladies bible study recruited to join the song of prayer,the list goes on and on.  I was on the third mezzanine of that stadium of friends. My small mind can’t imagine the number of lives touched by His miracle aka her life.

Maybe it was for me.  To inspire me, to reignite my fire and my faith, to unblock this writer. Maybe God healed CJ for you.  Reminding you that nothing can separate us from the love of God, not trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword. No,not cancer or depression, divorce or betrayal are insurmountable for God.  “For I am convinced that neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” Rom 8 35, 38.

Maybe it was for another of the thousands who have been touched by this miracle.  Watching from afar, humbled and so grateful for the heavenly perspective CJ’s faith, hope and trust revealed in her journey.  So I am left thankful and overwhelmed – reminded that absolutely nothing is impossible with God.

Maybe we all needed a hope infusion, a faith reboot.  Thanks For the real signal that You hear, You move and You heal.  Thanks, from the mail lady and me.

..